Dreaming of Your Ex

This morning I woke with three dreams about the same past love. Very often I am asked how to stop dreaming of an Ex. People say I divorced him or her why am I still dreaming about him? There can be many reasons, but if there is no unfinished business regarding that former partner, chances are that they simply represent what you associate with them, just as every other dream symbol.

 In my dream I was in bed waiting for my husband to come to bed. I got up to get a glass of water and when I returned there was a tall aluminum ladder resting across the bed. I lifted it off and as I did, I saw my former husband lying on my side, feet where the head goes and on his belly. He looked out of his right eye at me then closed his eyes again. At that point I remembered that we no longer slept in the same bed and I wondered where I was supposed to sleep. I found a small twin bed in another room and decided that it would be fine for the night. In the next dream I had driven up to my former husband's new home. It was a large two or more story home overlooking a huge expanse of land. As I reached the top of the driveway. I got out and looked over the land. I was surprised to see magnificent lions, bears, and many other types of animals all living there. In one second's time my thought went from--what an amazing thing to be able to witness all of these incredible animals coexisting on this amazing piece of land to--what is protecting me from these fierce, wild animals? I began running back down the road, but a huge full grown lion and a big Grizzly bear were chasing me. I heard my former husband bellow out a yell and knew that the animals would stop and that I was safe. In the third scene my same former love and I were in a family living room. It was some sort of a reunion. A beautiful young girl came up to me, she was about three and a half years old, had long blonde hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a pretty blue dress, the type a little girl would be proud of. She was looking at me and then had an "ah ha" moment as she recognized me as her auntie. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me in big, happy hug as if she missed and loved me. My husband observed this exchange wondering who the girl was and how she was related, he was confused but smiling. 

There are far too many symbols to break down in this blog, but the fact that my former husband was in all three certainly got my attention. In the first dream I can take away that our rolls and positions have changed. The ladder may be my tool to move on and upward in my growth. It tells me that I will find my own way and place on my own. 

The second invites me to be comfortable with my natural instincts and reminds me that I am protected. There are no hard feelings.

The third reminds me that I have a loving place in the family of humankind. 

My former spouse is symbolic for resolve, strength, protection and gentle observation. 

So do not fret, if you are dreaming of an Ex, ask yourself: What are they symbolic for? What adjectives would you use to describe them to someone who didn't know them? Your answer will give you clues as to how your subconscious mind uses him or her in your dreams. 

Until next time, all my best wishes for your Sweet Dreams, Cynthia

Yellow Butterfly

Do you have recurring symbols in your dreams? These may be important messages from your dream muse. Once you establish your meaning for a symbol it becomes part of the language of your subconscious mind.

Two nights ago I remembered a fraction of a dream as my alarm went off. Even though we would prefer to have the entire dream for context, even a fraction can be very helpful.

In my dream I was setting down a yellow butterfly soap holder on the right side of my kitchen sink. Butterflies for me represent: metamorphosis, change, evolving, and spirit. I also associate yellow with  mental energy, the stomach chakra and therefore digestion, and happiness & joy, simply because sunshine gives me those feelings.

Soap of course is used for cleansing or removing an unwanted layer and, from my generation, a threat!  

“Watch your mouth or I'll wash your mouth out with soap!” 

 To which the only proper response was, “Yes, Ma’am!”

My dream continues my current theme regarding positive change. It is a dream of encouragement. As I came out of the dream I felt excited. I also had the feeling that the yellow butterfly soap dish was made on a 3-D copier! I am not sure what that means, but it may become more clear as time goes on.

For now, wishing you a lovely day and helpful dreams.

~Cynthia

Remembering Your Dreams

Every time I speak about dreams to a group, someone tells me that they don't remember their dreams or they announce: "I don't dream!" The truth is that nearly everyone dreams several times each night. We could hook you up in a sleep clinic and watch your brain activity and eye movement, wake you up when the activity indicates a dreaming mind and you would be able to tell us what you were dreaming about. However the sad fact is that most of us forget most of our dreams. I don't recommend it, but I have known dedicated dreamers who set their alarm to wake them every 90 minutes so that they could write down their dreams throughout the night. This is fun to do once when you don't need to be fully rested the next day.

Some medications block a sleeping person's ability to get to REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. People experiencing this say they feel as if they woke from a coma, not a restful sleep. Additionally, some people with certain types of brain damage do not actually dream. That leaves most of us dreaming every night.

There are four stages of sleep and we dream in the lightest one, that takes about 90 minutes for most adults. In my research I have found that the dreams we have shortly after going to sleep tend to be about the day we just lived. Concerns about our partner or children, work stress and other daily stressors can show up to be looked at from a new perspective. Often we wake with an idea for a new approach in a situation we care about. The dreams we have during the night tend to be stress management dreams such as flying, and the dreams we have just before waking tend to be the ones with information or perspective that we can use in our waking state.

The good news is that we can all remember more of our dreams. More on that soon!

Dreaming for Dollars

Last night I had a dream that my daughter had cashed in something of value that belonged to me, she was excited to give me the bounty. It was all in coins, old fashioned large scale silver dollars mostly, two were blue and the feeling was that they were more valuable. One was a smaller half-dollar coin. In the dream there was about $135.00 worth of money. She had traded in a coin of mine which had increased in value. She was 14 or 15 years old (half her actual life) and her dad was waiting in his van while she came up to my door to give me this surprise.

My daughter is often in my dreams. Sometimes she represents a younger version of myself, other times I actually tune-in to her life and circumstances. She represents my deepest love and attachment. Money in the language of dreams can be literal or just represent value. However coins can represent change. Two of mine were blue, a color I associate with spirituality and communication. So! Something I love deeply and dearly is bringing me a change of great value involving what I consider to be my life purpose or soul contract involving communication. And bringing it right to my doorstep! 

I feel as if the change is my new website and the opportunities it will bring to do what I love so much, that is to help people remember and interpret their nightly dreams and use them to improve the quality of their lives. YaY!~!~!

Until next time, wishing you great sleep and wonderful dreams. 

In Dreams…

Most nights I remember at least part of a dream. Sometimes though, all I actually remember is my own interpretation of the dream. Part of my mind is deciphering the dream while I am having it and I wake up with the advice from my dream! I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I was giving a young woman a ride on the back of my bike. I shouted at a car that was driving below the speed limit, “Com’on Pops! Let’s go!” Then when the car turned I realized that it was an elderly woman driving. I thought “Mom’s” isn’t quite effective in this instance. I realized that it was hard to pedal with the young woman on the back. It was good exercise but I wasn’t getting very far, very fast.  When I woke I was reminded of several women who I have helped in various ways, which made me very happy. Then I thought of so many women who have helped me over the years, which made me feel very grateful.

In the language of dreams a bicycle can represent balance, since you must stay balanced to ride one.  In my dream there was both a young woman who I was helping to get to where she wanted to be and an older woman who was in my way, going slow. Both women could be parts of myself. Sometimes it feels as though things are moving way too slow, will I be old before I get to where I want to be? Other times I feel like I am just going along for the ride, but not in charge. I was riding on a familiar street in Southern CA next to a park with beautiful green grass. I think the dream was reminding me that life is an adventure. Enjoy the beauty and do the best you can, and it feels great to help others along the way. Even so, I am going to incubate a dream tonight to see what else I can do to move things along!

Placebo

I dreamt about a conversation that I actually had in my waking life. Do you ever carry over your awake life into your dream state? Most of us do at some time.

The dream illustrated a dilemma I have long held. I believe that the studies done with placebos demonstrate the connection between what we believe and our intentions and what we experience with respect to our health. If you believe that if you go outside on a cold day with wet hair you will catch a cold, you are more likely to do so. Additionally, if you believe that homemade chicken soup will cure your cold, it is likely to give you comfort, even though it both instances there are other factors and influences at work contributing to your experience.

Therefore I am cautious when answering questions regarding health. Recently I completed a 16-module course on nutrition and an exam, becoming a Nutritional Advisor to add to my knowledge and credential. Clients dream about food, health, weight loss, addiction and therefore questions come up that I want to answer responsibly. As a board certified behavioral therapist I have worked with many people to achieve their weight and health goals for more than 20 years.

Yesterday a woman asked me about vitamin D. She said, “I just moved to the desert. I should get plenty of vitamin D from the sun.” I said, “One would expect,” nodding. In my dream I saw basically this same scenario and was very unsettled. Recent well-respected studies from universities and hospitals have shown that many of us are deficient in vitamin D, known as “The Sunshine Vitamin”. And vitamin D deficiency is associated with many illnesses including cancers, arthritis, M.S. and high blood pressure in addition to assisting with calcium absorption. All that said, I want the woman to absorb her vitamin D from the sun. I don’t want to plant a seed of doubt. I don’t know exactly how this all works. If every time she feels the warmth of the sun on her skin she confirms to herself “got my “d” for the day,” maybe that is exactly what will happen.
 
In my dream my thoughts were around things I have read and heard, that apparently pollutants in the atmosphere filter the sun in ways that can prevent our bodies from making vitamin D naturally. In my dream I was so conflicted. It actually woke me up.
 
My personal rule is to answer direct questions directly. The woman did not actually ask me if she would absorb enough sunshine to make sufficient vitamin D. So I did not tell her what I have been taught. In my waking state that felt appropriate. But my subconscious mind was bothered.
 
Our subconscious minds are the policing authorities of our lives. We can convince ourselves while awake that all is well, but if it isn’t indications can bubble up in our dreams, giving us an opportunity to take a look from another angle. A fresh perspective can help us make new healthy choices in our waking state.
 
Until tomorrow, have a great day!

Sorry so much time has passed since I last blogged!

So many artists dream up the inspiration for their work. Painters dream color combinations, and subjects, musicians dream melodies and lyrics, Chef's dream up new ingredients and even "dream taste" during their nocturnal dramas. I dated a gifted guitar player many years ago who once dreamt that he was playing a song he had never played before, and woke up, picked up his guitar and played the song! Your dreams can inject creativity and ideas into your waking state. Ask yourself a question before you go to sleep, such as, what is my next creation? Or, what new technique would enhance my work/art/life? And don't forget to write down whatever you get when you wake. Dreams often, evaporate if we don't record them.

I am so excited to share that I am now writing my column, In Your Dreams, originally in the Los Angeles Times and then the Arizona Republic for InfiniteQuest.com The first one will Premiere March 1st. Please log on and send in your dreams. There are also other awesome things on the site; you can print your own astrological natal chart, pull up your very own interpreted numerology, do a chakra cleansing meditation, and much, much, more :)
Thank you for reading and Sweet Dreams.